Gaming and App Reviews - - by Niall De'Ath

App of the Week: Bruhometer

App of the Week: Bruhometer

Trying to make sense of the multitude of overly complex weather apps out there can lead you to question your own sanity/begin ritualistic sacrifices to the mighty and vengeful god of British atmospheric conditions. We can him Moistlor, praise him.

Wouldn’t it be nice if information was handed out simply, and without overt flair and style? Turns out doing just that makes for a great app.

Bruhometer is your very own jaded frat house weather reporter, who gives you half arsed, but very clear, predictions of the weather without vomiting out graphs, tables or thermal imaging. In fact, Bruhometer couldn’t care less about that noise, yo.

You’ll receive reliable, bruh-enhanced weather reports across a wide spectrum of conditions, varying based on intensity and probability. Also, every single report includes the word “bruh”, which finally bridges the gap between the emotional distance of man and machine.

A few examples of Bruhometer‘s vast wisdom include:

“Average amount of clouds out, bruh”

“Little bit of clouds bruh. It’s good money out.”

“Could be rain, may not be rain? Bruh, look out your window.”

“Bruh, it’s mad wet outside, get an umbrella”

You’re tired, your phone is tired, but you both have stuff to do. It speaks to us on a personal level, filled with lethargic begrudging of duty, interspersed with sudden outbursts of excitement when the sun finally comes out.

Bruhometer is your personal pocket college meteorologist, who spends most of his time think about how hot Stacey is and how many brewskis he can pound before hitting the gym. Sometimes, you might think  you hear your bruh flexing, or maybe its just a masculine rustling of leaves from outside your window. Bruhometer is a homeboy who will never leave your side.

Just be aware that your bruh needs your GPS to function properly, which can murder battery life if you let it. But with daily and advanced weather forecasts, up to five days ahead, having a little extra help from your bruh never hurts.

You feel me, bruh?


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