Tech Latest - - by Niall De'Ath

Farewell Funds: Our hottest new tech and gadgets for 2016

Farewell Funds: Our hottest new tech and gadgets for 2016

Take notes everyone, because 2016 is going to be a year of mind blowing new tech. You thought 2015 was full of innovation with its self destructing ‘hover boards’, oppressive drones and cool as hell Robo balls? You fool! It was only the begging, as the tech industry starts anew, with bigger things, bigger prices and completely useless innovations that will keep your house repayments a far off dream. But don’t be sad, its going to be a hell of a journey to the finish line, so lets get started on what you can expect later this year.

1) LG 8K TVs

xl_BestCES-LG8K-650-80 Farewell Funds: Our hottest new tech and gadgets for 2016

Who needs functioning retinas in this day and age, frankly it seems a pretty solid trade for ultra high definition televisions.  After the general hubbub surrounding the onset of affordable 4K TVs it has become more than apparent that the next step is around the corner, however much it may cost. Welcome to the stage the 8K 98inch television, and it is truly a beast. We can only push the phase ‘crystal clear’ so far until we can see directly though our televisions , but this is without doubt the closest we have come so far. Expect to shell out $100,000 or your regional equivalent, so the eye watering quality is only comparable to the eye watering cost.

 

2) The 1000-horsepower Electric Cars

Exterior_15.0 Farewell Funds: Our hottest new tech and gadgets for 2016

Dammit Blade Runner, you promised us space cars, but I guess we’ll have to make do with Faraday Futures hyper car. We all know that electric cars are slow, cumbersome and unresponsive and aren’t exactly the ozone healing solutions we had hoped for…yet. The FFZERO1 is a result of a hell of a lot of money and hundreds of technicians, psychiatrists and comic book artists trapped in a small room. This car knows its cooler than being cool (yeah, thats right, an OutKast reference in 2015. Sue me.) With a top speed of 200 miles per hour, you better hope they aren’t running lithium batteries, or, you know, this:

 

3) VR headsets

oculus_rift_consumer-6 Farewell Funds: Our hottest new tech and gadgets for 2016

You can’t stop us talking about VR now we are in year of release for almost all the upcoming fabled devices. While the fact that pricing is still a mystery and that you need a pretty substantial computer to use them, there is very little to suggest VR won’t hit the ground running. HTC’s VIVE, The Oculus Rift and even Playstation VR are all just around the corner with motion control peripherals following closely behind, so 2016 could become a year of desperate isolation in favor of virtual escapes. Or you know, people could just use them responsibly, right?

 

4) Touchscreen fridges

Samsung-Family-Hub-fridge-970-80 Farewell Funds: Our hottest new tech and gadgets for 2016

Look, we can’t sugar coat that the human population is becoming fatter each year, so we can understand Samsung giving up and saying, ‘Ah whatever, just put a monitor on that fridge’. Now your kitchen can become the most practical space in the house by combining two of the most important features for family gatherings; TV and food. Sit in silence listening to the gentle hum of our frosty food overlord as it provides weather updates, music and threats of death for unbelievers. Sacrifice misbehaving children by casting them into the freezer section, all while receiving updates on the tennis and relaxing afterwards with a cold beer. These things are now possible with the new wave of Smart fridges from Samsung. What a time to be alive.

 

5) Voice controlled cars

volvo-voice-control-microsoft-1 Farewell Funds: Our hottest new tech and gadgets for 2016

Drive a Volvo and have access to the Microsoft Band 2? Well then, you are in luck, now you can yell at your car to turn on the heater, sound the horn and chase down Daniel Craig. Drivers can create a number of voice controls to activate a variety of functions within their car that can be used without fumbling for the dashboard. While this new addition to the driving experience won’t exactly shake the foundation of the industry, it certainly will make early morning commutes a little bit less of a hassle.

 

6) Cyclist HUD glasses

When cycling at high speed it can be a very bad idea to take your eyes off the road, even when numerous distractions can interrupt your focus. While visor mounted smart glasses aren’t exactly a new thing in the world of cycling, they are certainly improving. Garmin’s Varia Vision, announced recently at CES, is the latest offering for the techno cyclist of a dystopian future and connects wirelessly to a smart phone, updating users on important information. Navigational cues, performance stats and information on incoming messages are all displayed on a small screen within your vision cone, keep you in the loop of what may be occurring around you. Now you can pretend to be a VR trooper on your way to work, as science always intended.

Comments

2 responses to “Farewell Funds: Our hottest new tech and gadgets for 2016”

  1. Cool dear. You are doing very well.

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